"Can I get some water?"
The cop grinned at me. "Thirsty?"
"Yeah, it's hot in here, and I'd like a glass of water." I kept my tone even. "If it's not too much trouble."
"Sure." His grin got even wider. He got up, walked to the door, but instead of opening it, flipped the light switch; suddenly the one-way mirror was two-way, and behind it stood three more cops and — goddamn it — Aulia.
"We know what you are, sorcerer."
"She's a liar."
"Save it. I need you talking. Start by explaining how Ronald Feathercane drowned in an elevator, and why."
Bravo! What a great take on that prompt and the beginning (or climatic scene) to a story.
ReplyDeleteI could feel the "thirst".
Thank you very much for reading and commenting! :-)
DeleteOhhh, caught put! How do you drown someone in an elevator?
ReplyDeleteThat should say out, not put :)
DeleteThat's what the cops want to know! ;-)
DeleteI went ahead and wrote a prelude to this, called "Elemental", for the Parking Lot Confessional 500 club. So now you get to see how Ronald Feathercane died!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.agincourtdb.com/2012/10/elemental.html
This definitely drew me into the story and wanting more. Intriguing premise, drowning in an elevator.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :-)
DeleteI am really late with my comments this time. But I read this right after you posted, and I concur with the other commenters. The concept of being drowned in an elevator is certainly intriguing, particularly how one would make that believable. Also, inexplicably, love the name Ronald Feathercane.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading and commenting. :-) And yeah, usually I have to change the names at least three times before I like them, but I typed 'Ronald Feathercane' and immediately though, yep, I'm using that. :-)
Delete