She was dead only days when he sought out the Painter. He would have gone before, had he been able to stand or speak. “Can you give her back to me?”
“Only that part of her still in your mind,” said the Painter, “and it will cost.”
“No matter.”
He slept in the front hall, on the floor. The Painter finished it in a day and a night. “Have a look.”
He squared himself in front of the canvas; she looked back at him, recognized him, smiled, silently reached out to him. Their fingers touched. “Can she leave the—”
“No.”
Wow. Simply told, but very powerful. This is quite well done. The sentence beginning "He squared..." is a bit long, though, and I think it would be punchier as a series of shorter sentences. That being said, I quite like a literary punch to the gut. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting. :-)
DeleteI don't really consider 21 words that long of a sentence, especially considering it's two separate clauses joined by a semicolon. (<---That sentence is also 21 words,) It's stylized, certainly, but that's my style.