“..and this is Helen. Helen was a nurse, she lived alone. She had a shrill voice, very grating. I put ‘Die Meistersinger’ on the record player and turned it up as loud as it would go and then I cut her throat in the kitchen. Very nice tile in the kitchen. Sort of a Persian blue.
“Bill here came to the house selling Electrolux vacuums. Nothing spectacular about Bill. I asked him in for a demo and then strangled him with the vacuum power cord. Not sure why they never came looking for him.
“Next is Dr. Garcia. I went to him for my eye twitch and he told me I needed more potassium. Bananas. Worked like a charm. I locked him in the basement and then piped exhaust fumes from the Packard down there.
“Let’s see, who’s next? Oh, yes: my Miranda. Lovely Miranda. Miranda’s where the magic happens.”