“The coffee?”
“Yes sir.”
“Is sapient? The coffee.”
“Yes sir, I’m sorry, sir, the boys down in Lab 12 really had a corker of a weekend and—”
“And it’s communicating with them?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And it’s angry?”
“Well, as you can imagine, the boys down in Lab 12 had drunk quite a lot of the coffee before they realized it was self-aware. Not really sure how they figured it out, actually, but they are geniuses, after all—”
“Bob.”
“Sorry, sir. At any rate, the coffee was quite unhappy about having been half-consumed and had declared, well, sort of… war.”
“Unbelievable.”
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